In an age where everyone is a keyboard warrior, I'll admit, I laughed out loud when I read a recent insult from Wolf Van Halen on Twitter. It eventually turned into a whole thing with memes and polls. He called the guy he was arguing with a Grape. A Grape!

It was so unexpected it was hilarious, and I especially liked how seemingly benign it was.

Insults are their own art form and Montanans are proving to be a salty bunch. We may be introverted, but when we do open our mouths, well, you might get an earful.

So if you're looking for a playful way to have a Montana-style comeback, we made up these expletives and insults. (Or maybe some of these are in use and we just don't know it.) Again, this is intended to be playful. Be nice.

Expressions of Exasperation

The F word goes a long way for most people, and studies are saying swearing can be good for you, so if you don't want to use a common bad word. Try these Montana versions.

  • Clark Fork!
  • Dung!
  • Son of a River!

Name Calling

We know it's not nice to call someone a name, but for the sake of humor, give these a try:

  • Dirty Rotten Landfill
  • Mountain Goat
  • Gopher
  • Cowpie
  • Magpie
  • Crick dipper
  • Bitty buck
  • Out of stater

Related: 10 Ways to Cosole a Ticked Off or Sad Montanan

Clever Insults

Then, when you have the time to craft a comeback:

  • Your reservoir doesn't run very deep
  • You don't have much runoff
  • You couldn't shovel your way out of a hail storm
  • All hat and no cattle
  • All buckle and no horse
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and possible my favorite one of all

  • You think a buffalo chip is a snack

Montanan's Biggest Pet-Peeve is Hilarious

Admit it, we all have at least one pet-peeve.

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