How to Charm Any Missoulian: Just Follow These Steps

Missoulians are my favorite people in the whole world. They seem to be the butt of every joke here in Montana, but I think all the roasting is done with some love. Missoulians are just— am I really sharing the quote again? Yes, I must.

“The world is full of bastards, the number increasing rapidly the further one gets from Missoula, Montana.” -Norman Maclean

They're a great people, and while far from simple, there is a formula for being the kind of person Missoulians like. Here's how to charm any Missoulian:

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Connect through music

To do this properly, develop a taste for bluegrass, alternative or indie for this one. Talk about how the music "gives you chills" or "really touches you." That's the easy part, the hard part is listening to the Missoulian tell you about their vinyl collection.

Ride a bike

Environmental cred goes a long way in Zootown. You don't need your carbon footprint to be zero, but yeah, it helps.

Be well read

Missoula is a bookish town, so it wouldn't hurt to throw out a literary reference here or there. I don't read much myself, but I've seen a few movies based on books and that often is enough.

Drink local

Even the Missoulians who don't drink beer will appreciate that you do. For those that do drink beer, you get extra points. Especially if you're drinking the same IPA as someone, that's a big deal for reasons I can't fully comprehend. Speaking of drinking...

Know Montana bar etiquette

You'll need to read a whole article for this one, but trust me, it's worth it.

Be a good person

Missoulians don't tolerate rudeness or hostility. If you want to be a jerk, I hear California is nice.