7 Things That Should Be Banned in Montana: Opinion

I love liberty. I'm all about that red, white and blue, baby, USA all day. If you have a question, the answer is freedom. Unless someone asks, "what's something you don't like?" in which case answer is definitely not freedom. Because freedom is what makes this a free country full of people with options to live life as they please. Silliness aside, that's beautiful.

As much as I cherish freedom, there are things that I think need to be regulated or even outright banned. Though I think Montanans can thrive with a longer leash than people from other states, for the sake of our community maybe we should consider taking certain dishes off the menu, if you understand what I mean despite the mixed metaphors. Here are the things I think should be banned in Montana:

Gain-of-Function Research

According to Wikipedia, gain-of-function research is "is medical research that genetically alters an organism in a way that may enhance the biological functions of gene products. This may include an altered pathogenesis, transmissibility, or host range, i.e., the types of hosts that a microorganism can infect." I say these mad scientists should keep their creepy, genetically enhanced viruses out of Montana.

Vacation Rentals (Airbnbs and Vrbos)

The increased housing supply for actual residents of this state could bring down the cost of housing. I'm not sure how much of an impact it would have but in a housing crisis every bit counts.

Self-Driving Vehicles

I wrote a whole article about the subject but in short, I don't trust robots.

TikTok

I'm concerned about the potential of Montanans being surveilled by a foreign government. They've been in our skies but I'd prefer they not be in our phones too. Here's my open letter to Montana's TikTok users.

Raisin Cookies

Never again should I bite into a cooke expecting chocolate chips only to taste the inferior raisin.

Saying "Hella"

Cringe, just cringe.

Cannabis

Just kidding. I wish I could see the look on your face.