12 Words That Should be Banned in Montana
Not to rain on anyone's "406 Day" (we'll save that for the weather later this weekend), but I think it presents a good opportunity to review our Montana vocabulary and maybe toss a few words to the curb (or the ditch if you live in Drummond or Dillon).
Because when it comes right down to it, there are words that everyone in Montana is more than a little tired of.
And I'm not talking about classic Montana words or phrases. "Crick" still drives me crazy, because every once in a while my four Montana generations come calling right in the middle of reading an important news story and it slips right out. But words like "gumbo", phrases like "a buck ninety-eight" or "things getting western" when you've "cliffed out" climbing a mountain or got the pickup stuck in the biggest mud hole on the trail are part of who we are.
No, these are words that should be outright banned IMHO.
Average Montanans have bristled over this one since the days of the Copper Kings and it's not getting any easier in the 2020s. Just say "well off" and move on. You'll never have that much money.
Really beat to death the last decade of hot, dry summers. And it's self-fulfilling, right? There are no "tame fires", so let's just stick with fire.
The only fish I want to know about are cooked over a fire or the backyard BBQ, or honored with catch and release. Kelp belongs on a Washington beach, not in your food.
They aren't going away, and they do bring money, but can we just stop with the labels? After all, if a tourist is anyone more than 100 miles from home you become that just driving for groceries in much of the state.
This one has become super irritating in Montana. It started with the "rich" (see above) taking over the fancy hotel rooms. Now you can't even go into Glacier on a whim to laugh at the "tourists" (see above also).
A phrase that should have never made it out of Seattle. Call it coffee and move on. "Cuppa Joe" if you must.
More of a phrase than a single word. Thought this one would stay in the 90s, but now there are apparently more "rich" people. 'Nuff said.
See Exhibit "A"- Gallatin Valley. Or Exhibit "B"- the Flathead. Not convinced this should be a banned word? There's always Missoula.
Red (or blue)
Since when should free-thinking, a CNN map color describe independent Montanans?
You really think the 80s never left right?
Should only be used to describe my old Volkswagen Baja Bug, or any other V-dub. Irritated when you are. "Skeeters" when you're in the Big Hole.
Any word where you drop the "t"
I can't figure out if it's because we're between Utah and Canada, or if it really is a generational thing (which is what the linguists say), but every time I hear "moun-in' it drives me crazy. If we start saying "Mon-ana" it's all over.
If we get this all taken care of, then we can move on to the real tough Montana word/phrase issues. Like "jockey box" versus "glove compartment" and is it really "cattywampus" or "kittywompus?"
I can hardly wait to see what we come up with.